It's been some years since I spent Chinese New Year in my hometown. But this year, our family took the bus home on the first day to Penang, avoiding the crowd that made its way there much earlier. It was a pleasant ride home.
We spent four days in Penang, catching up mainly with family. Mum was very happy to see us. Although she is now in her 80s, she is healthy and able to remember most things. We had a little family get-together and it was great to see so many people show up.
On the way home, I thank God for blessing me with a great family. There is much LOVE in the air.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
World Cancer Day - A Reflection
As Feb 4 was World Cancer Day, let’s take a look at the term cancer survivor, which has taken on a broader meaning these days, and is often used to include the caregivers and family members.
By SOO EWE JIN
SOMEWHERE in Istanbul, a four-year-old boy with leukaemia is bringing much joy to his parents because of his bright and cheerful nature. They see much hope despite the difficult situation. We connect by email now and then, just to share and encourage one another.
A new-found friend told me he was diagnosed with cancer at a time when he was still recovering from the loss of his teenage daughter in a traffic accident.
Life’s tough, he said, but we have to move on. I visited him at the oncology ward, supposedly to encourage him, and left feeling much blessed.
Another two friends had cancer scares in recent months, but subsequent tests revealed that the tumours had disappeared. They do not know each other, but I received their wonderful news half an hour apart.
When one has been through a cancer journey, such stories are not rare. I have lost many friends to cancer, but their amazing stories of hope in despair never fail to lift me up.
And many who have conquered cancer are out there doing their part to educate and encourage others on the same journey.
The Star’s Fit for Life section has been a treasure trove of good and informative stories about the Big C, especially those written by medical specialists,
But in reality, those going through cancer interact more with ordinary people than they do with the doctors.
The term cancer survivor has taken on a broader meaning these days, and is often used to include the caregivers, family members, and even people working in cancer-care organisations, like Hospis.
So, as we celebrate World Cancer Day (Feb 4), I would like to share some lessons that hopefully can benefit us when someone close to us has to go through a cancer journey.
> If you are not a doctor, and especially if you do not know anything about cancer, please do not give medical advice.
Not only do I not give medical advice, but I also take care not to overly share my own experiences because we know every patient is different, not only by way of temperament, but also in the way he or she reacts to the treatment.
> I find that I often have to help people debunk the myths. I tell them not to listen to the horror stories of people who were there years ago.
A problem that all cancer patients face is that the moment the Big C is mentioned, everyone will have a horror story to share, a supplement to recommend, an alternative cure to promote, and a doctor to criticise. Such unsolicited advice can confuse, depress and disturb. Let us be careful how we give advice.
> I have learnt, through many trials and errors, that at a time when someone is facing a problem, the last thing he wants to hear is another person’s problem.
Do take note that when you visit a cancer patient, make the person you visit the most important person for the moment. There is no need to tell him about another person’s problem.
> Rather than dispense advice, the best thing you could do for a cancer patient is to simply be there. If we are the person with whom someone wants to share his burden, let’s learn to keep our mouth shut and our ears open. Let’s just be there to hold their hands.
> Practical help, often behind the scenes, is the most useful. Help with transport, help with the cooking, take the patient’s children out. Share your CD and DVD collections with patients.
> Remember the caregiver. I remember how happy my wife was when a friend came by not only to give me my fruits, but to also give her a pack of essence of chicken and a bouquet of flowers.
Take the caregiver out to a meal or to a movie, or even for a walk in the park. Remember the caregiver, not just the patient.
> And finally, as we live through such tumultous times when irresponsible elements are playing up racial and religious differences, take a trip to the oncology wards, and be encouraged by how Malaysians from all walks of life relate to one another in love and harmony.
I have shared this before but let me share it again: One day, I was visiting the oncology ward and saw three women – a Malay, a Chinese, and an Indian – reading the little book, Face to Face with Cancer, which I had written with my wife about my journey with the Big C.
The nurses excitedly told them that I was the author because I was quite bald at the time, having just completed my own chemotherapy, and they did not recognise me.
The Malay lady smiled at me and, waving the book, said, “Your Tuhan is very good!”
Yes, I replied, and He loves all of you too. And in solidarity with me, they removed their wigs and we had a good laugh.
> Deputy executive editor Soo Ewe Jin, like all cancer survivors, is thankful for the many blessings in his life, especially being a Malaysian where we can celebrate our differences and still be united as one.
This article appears in The Sunday Star on Feb 7.
By SOO EWE JIN
SOMEWHERE in Istanbul, a four-year-old boy with leukaemia is bringing much joy to his parents because of his bright and cheerful nature. They see much hope despite the difficult situation. We connect by email now and then, just to share and encourage one another.
A new-found friend told me he was diagnosed with cancer at a time when he was still recovering from the loss of his teenage daughter in a traffic accident.
Life’s tough, he said, but we have to move on. I visited him at the oncology ward, supposedly to encourage him, and left feeling much blessed.
Another two friends had cancer scares in recent months, but subsequent tests revealed that the tumours had disappeared. They do not know each other, but I received their wonderful news half an hour apart.
When one has been through a cancer journey, such stories are not rare. I have lost many friends to cancer, but their amazing stories of hope in despair never fail to lift me up.
And many who have conquered cancer are out there doing their part to educate and encourage others on the same journey.
The Star’s Fit for Life section has been a treasure trove of good and informative stories about the Big C, especially those written by medical specialists,
But in reality, those going through cancer interact more with ordinary people than they do with the doctors.
The term cancer survivor has taken on a broader meaning these days, and is often used to include the caregivers, family members, and even people working in cancer-care organisations, like Hospis.
So, as we celebrate World Cancer Day (Feb 4), I would like to share some lessons that hopefully can benefit us when someone close to us has to go through a cancer journey.
> If you are not a doctor, and especially if you do not know anything about cancer, please do not give medical advice.
Not only do I not give medical advice, but I also take care not to overly share my own experiences because we know every patient is different, not only by way of temperament, but also in the way he or she reacts to the treatment.
> I find that I often have to help people debunk the myths. I tell them not to listen to the horror stories of people who were there years ago.
A problem that all cancer patients face is that the moment the Big C is mentioned, everyone will have a horror story to share, a supplement to recommend, an alternative cure to promote, and a doctor to criticise. Such unsolicited advice can confuse, depress and disturb. Let us be careful how we give advice.
> I have learnt, through many trials and errors, that at a time when someone is facing a problem, the last thing he wants to hear is another person’s problem.
Do take note that when you visit a cancer patient, make the person you visit the most important person for the moment. There is no need to tell him about another person’s problem.
> Rather than dispense advice, the best thing you could do for a cancer patient is to simply be there. If we are the person with whom someone wants to share his burden, let’s learn to keep our mouth shut and our ears open. Let’s just be there to hold their hands.
> Practical help, often behind the scenes, is the most useful. Help with transport, help with the cooking, take the patient’s children out. Share your CD and DVD collections with patients.
> Remember the caregiver. I remember how happy my wife was when a friend came by not only to give me my fruits, but to also give her a pack of essence of chicken and a bouquet of flowers.
Take the caregiver out to a meal or to a movie, or even for a walk in the park. Remember the caregiver, not just the patient.
> And finally, as we live through such tumultous times when irresponsible elements are playing up racial and religious differences, take a trip to the oncology wards, and be encouraged by how Malaysians from all walks of life relate to one another in love and harmony.
I have shared this before but let me share it again: One day, I was visiting the oncology ward and saw three women – a Malay, a Chinese, and an Indian – reading the little book, Face to Face with Cancer, which I had written with my wife about my journey with the Big C.
The nurses excitedly told them that I was the author because I was quite bald at the time, having just completed my own chemotherapy, and they did not recognise me.
The Malay lady smiled at me and, waving the book, said, “Your Tuhan is very good!”
Yes, I replied, and He loves all of you too. And in solidarity with me, they removed their wigs and we had a good laugh.
> Deputy executive editor Soo Ewe Jin, like all cancer survivors, is thankful for the many blessings in his life, especially being a Malaysian where we can celebrate our differences and still be united as one.
This article appears in The Sunday Star on Feb 7.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The power of an encouraging word
I love the Irish. They have a nice way of blessing people. This is one of my favourite Irish blessings:
An Old Irish Blessing
An Old Irish Blessing
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
I often use it when saying goodbye to friends, who are leaving for greener pastures, at home or abroad.
An Irish Prayer
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
This one, I often share, when I am at a loss for words to encourage someone going through a trial.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
I often use it when saying goodbye to friends, who are leaving for greener pastures, at home or abroad.
An Irish Prayer
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
This one, I often share, when I am at a loss for words to encourage someone going through a trial.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Turning 50, singing The Young Once
We had a nice party at our house to celebrate my turning 50 on Sept 25. Getting old. Mainly members of the care group, family and close friends, came. We ate, reflected, and sang two songs, "It Only Takes A Spark" and "The Young Ones" (more appropriately titled The Young Once. Thank God for His many blessings in our life.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Old friends...
The Internet is truly a powerful tool to reconnect with old friends. Last week, a teacher from my primary school days, now in Perth, Australia, sent me an email. He taught me in 1970 and had a powerful impression on me. We stayed in touch through the years and would exchange Chinese New Year cards. It was after I moved to the capital in the 1980s that I lost touch with him. So it wa such a pleasant surprise to hear from him and pleased that he had been following my career and life stories all this while. I immediately put him in touch with the bunch of us from that school who are still in touch with one another.
And then, another mail came. This time from a classmate whom we had been trying to locate all these years. As far as we know, he was the only one from our batch to become a policeman, although all of us, at one point or another, yearned to be a cop. He had been transferred to various stations throughout the country and recently got posted back to PJ.
We will have a lot of catching up to do. :)
And then, another mail came. This time from a classmate whom we had been trying to locate all these years. As far as we know, he was the only one from our batch to become a policeman, although all of us, at one point or another, yearned to be a cop. He had been transferred to various stations throughout the country and recently got posted back to PJ.
We will have a lot of catching up to do. :)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
A little book with an amazing journey
In this latest edition of Face to Face with Cancer, my wife and I share our thoughts on my two journeys with cancer. The book speaks of God's faithfulness and many blessings in our lives even as we go through these tough times.
Our stories should make you reflect, laugh and maybe shed a tear or two. The print edition is now available. Like our earlier editions, these books are primarily distributed for free to various cancer support groups, oncology wards, and individual patients and caregivers.
If you desire print copies please email Ewe Jin at ewejin@gmail.com. To read the pdf version, look at the links on the right.
For a bit of history, the first edition of Face to Face with Cancer was published in 2000. A second edition came out in 2004 and a third edition in 2006. That was also the year a Chinese edition was published. All in, 12,000 copies were freely distributed to cancer wards, churches, and anyone who asked for it. Thanks to generous sponsors, we have been able to print another 3,000 copies of this latest edition.
A different kind of blogging
For some years now, I have shown my presence on the Internet through the free webpage service at geocities.com. Through that site, I have posted some personal reflections, as well as selected articles from the newspaper where I work.
Primarily, it was about life beyond work. About my journeys with the Big C. And many heart-and-soul pieces written by me and my wife.
Through that simple site, I have connected with many people, especially people on similar journeys from near and far.
This blog will be more or less the same. I will navigate some of the articles from my website at geocities to this blog and hopefully have more interaction with surfers. The other reason being that geocities will be closing down its free website service at the end of the year.
Primarily, it was about life beyond work. About my journeys with the Big C. And many heart-and-soul pieces written by me and my wife.
Through that simple site, I have connected with many people, especially people on similar journeys from near and far.
This blog will be more or less the same. I will navigate some of the articles from my website at geocities to this blog and hopefully have more interaction with surfers. The other reason being that geocities will be closing down its free website service at the end of the year.
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